A Journey Through the Chaos, to a Better Place.

Hey you.

If you’re reading this, maybe you’re standing in the middle of your own storm — feeling lost, stuck, or like everything’s falling apart no matter how hard you try to hold it all together.

I’ve been there too.

Let me be real with you from the jump:

I’m not some perfect woman who’s got life figured out.

I’ve fallen apart — and I did it in front of everybody.

And right now? I’m still somewhere between what was and what is… not quite sure where I’m going next.

But I know I’m not alone in that.

There are so many of us out here — the in-betweeners.

The women who are healing, but still hurting.

Growing, but still grieving.

Trying, even when it feels like we’ve got nothing left to give.

This space? It’s for us.

The ones who don’t have it all together — but show up anyway.

The ones who cry their way through the pain.

The ones who’ve been through hell but still have a little spark left in them.

What the Hell Is the Hott Mess Xpress?

It’s a name I’ve been called.

Maybe you’ve been called it too.

They throw it at women like an insult —

When our emotions are “too much,”

Our lives are “too real,”

Our healing is “too messy.”

But here. We wear that name.

Because being a hott mess means we’re in motion.

We’re not stagnant.

We’re not stuck.

We’re moving, we’re feeling, we’re learning — even if it’s not always pretty.

That’s what real growth looks like.

My Story (Raw & Real)

My unraveling began about four years ago.

It was the start of my divorce — a chapter I never saw coming.

At the time, I thought I was doing everything right.

Trying to be a good wife.

A good mom.

Grateful for the life I thought I had.

I dreamed of growing old with someone.

Of being that couple that weathered every storm and came out stronger.

But the truth?

I was deep in denial.

I didn’t want to see how unhappy we both were.

I didn’t want to admit that the version of “family” I was clinging to was built on silence, stress, and survival mode.

When it all crumbled, so did I.

I didn’t know who I was without the labels:

Wife.

Mother.

Hard worker.

Caretaker.

I had no hobbies.

No identity outside of what I did for everyone else.

I slipped into depression.

I isolated myself.

Even the people who loved me the most couldn’t reach me — and truthfully, I didn’t want them to.

I wasn’t trying to be distant.

I was just trying to breathe through the rubble of my old life.

Where We’re Headed from Here

So… where does the Hott Mess Xpress go?

To be honest?

There’s no neat, shiny destination.

There’s no “arrival” point where you magically have it all figured out.

This ride is about showing up — messy, magical, in motion.

It’s about healing the parts of ourselves we were taught to hide.

Laughing at the chaos instead of drowning in it.

Choosing ourselves even when we don’t recognize who we’ve become.

We’re not chasing perfection.

We’re embracing the journey — every broken, beautiful part of it.

This is about reclaiming who we were always meant to be, not just who we had to be for survival.

A Love Letter to You

If nobody’s told you lately:

You are not too much.

You are not behind.

You are not broken.

You are becoming.

No matter how messy your story has been — you are worthy.

Worthy of peace.

Worthy of love.

Worthy of joy.

Worthy of a life that finally feels like yours.

So if something in these words hit home…

If you felt seen or cracked open or just a little less alone —

I’m proud of you.

For still being here.

For still trying.

For still showing up for yourself when it would be easier to give up.

This train?

The Hott Mess Xpress?

It’s just getting started.

So ride the waves.

Feel your feels.

And don’t you dare give up on yourself now.